ENTRY #4. The difference of treatment between children

Most people who have grown up with siblings know there can be an unequal form of treatment between each child and parent. More specifically, some children get treated better than others. A concept coined for this particular instance is called choosing "favorites." Many parents will swear they don't have favorites, but I think that is a total lie. Humans are emotional people. We all have that favorite friend, pet, coworker, etc. Even if we say we love each equally.

The biggest issue with this is that children can be treated very unfairly by their parents because of favoritism. They won't dare punish or inconvenience one or more of their children, so usually, it can fall back on the least favorite or the easily punishable one. It can also be bad because certain children can be given more opportunities and rewards compared to the other children in the family. This leads to a lot of children growing up feeling depressed, unaccepted, and unloved. Most parents don't realize they favor a child over the rest, or they refuse to admit it. It is a sad reality, nonetheless. It is important that each child gets the same number of opportunities as other children. Each child should be equally cared for, equally punished, and equally loved.

I've come up with a few steps on how parents can make an effort to erase that line they tend to draw between each child. 

1. LISTEN TO EACH CHILD EQUALLY- Each child has different problems, worries, and needs. As a parent, you signed up to care for your children. So, it's important to communicate with each child. Not only will you find that your children will trust you more, but there will also be a deeper understanding between child and parent.

2. LANGUAGE- It is important that we praise our children for the good they do, but it can be tricky to do so without triggering a form of favoritism as time goes on. Some children who are smart and well-behaved tend to receive more praise than children who may not be as smart or well-behaved. Each child is different and has a different version of their "best." Just because it's different or less easy than the other children doesn't mean they should be left out. In my Psychology class, we learned that neglecting to praise or show affection to certain children can make them act out more. It may be hard to find something to praise each child for, but it is important we take the time to acknowledge each step a child makes toward progress. 

3. CONSEQUENCES- Parents should also remember to equally distribute consequences. They should make sure that if they punish a child for something, each child will be held to that punishment too if they do the same thing. For example, if a child misses a curfew and you ground them, you can't dismiss your other children for missing curfews. Letting other children get away with things and choosing a specific one to punish constantly can build major resentment. 

4. COMMON GROUND- Finding activities and topics that you and your child both like can be very beneficial to your relationship. Finding this "common ground" with each child not only allows bonding but it prevents you from getting too close to one child and neglecting the others.

Those are just a few suggestions I have put together between research, my psychology classes, and personal experiences. I'm definitely not immune to the inequality of treatment between children. So, I think it is important that there are some boundaries that should be placed and a certain code of parental conduct that should be followed. Even if each child is different, there is still a certain level of equality that should be shown to each child.