ENTRY #2. Properly conversing with people with mental health problems!

 Today I want to discuss a topic I find deeply important. Conversing with loved ones struggling with their mental health. It is crucial we know how to properly connect and help the people around us. As someone who struggles with anxiety and has lost someone to suicide, I have experienced the negatives behind mental health struggles. This is why I have formed a list of things you can start doing in the hopes of helping some of you communicate better with your struggling loved ones.

1. DON'T tell mentally struggling people to "look on the bright side" or "think positive". Your loved ones would not be struggling mentally if they could simply think positively. Saying things along those lines actually has the opposite effect of what people tend to think. It makes mentally struggling people feel more alone and think they are crazy for feeling the way they do.

2. LISTEN AND VALIDATE FEELINGS! One of the easiest ways to respond to a venting loved one is to validate their feelings. You can't solve their problems, so don't try to. Acknowledge that you heard their problem and concerns and express your willingness to be there for them and to help them get through their problems.

3. DON'T SAY YOU UNDERSTAND! Some people think saying "I understand how you feel" or "I've been in a similar situation and..." can be a good response to those venting and expressing their feelings. These phrases are actually some of the worst things you can say. Understand that you don't understand, even if you have been put in a similar situation. Everyone feels things differently so even if you were in a similar situation, you never can truly understand what people are feeling. Saying you understand what they are going through can often feel like you are brushing their feelings aside or redirecting the conversation to you. Try saying something like "I may not understand exactly how you feel and the whole situation you are going through...but know that I am here to support you in any way possible."

4. DON'T OFFER UNSOLICITED ADVICE! As I mentioned in the paragraphs previously, you can't solve someone else's problems. In the end, it is up to them. Most people just want to be heard not advised. Giving advice can make problems seem simple and make people think that they are feeling upset about an easily fixable situation. Advice is something that should be given when asked. Wait for them to say, "How can I fix this", "What should I do", and "What are your thoughts" before giving them advice and solutions to their problems.

These are just a few of many things you can do to help with conversations with those who are struggling. I urge everyone to look into more ways to help put people at ease because no one deserves to feel alone and dismissed. I don't know about you, but I'd rather learn to listen and properly communicate with people than lose someone to suicide or make someone feel alone. I hope this post helps some of you.

Stay tuned for more from me,

-ASH